Greatest Story Ever Told (today)

There is this food-court like place where I sometimes eat lunch during the workday.  There is a really snazzy fresh popcorn shop therein.  I was enjoying a simple lunch of something boring, like subway or tacos, and sharing a chat with my hubby who sometimes meets me for lunch.  I stopped chatting with him mid-sentence and started staring at one of the fiercest messes I'd ever laid eyes on . . . and by staring, I mean casually looking up at this mess, then back at my lunch, back at the lunch companion, casually back at the mess, over to the shop signs, around to others, back to the mess, and so on.  The way we all non-chalantly pretend to not look at things . . . Describing all this doesn't quite do it justice, but I'll try: 


Before me is a lady leaving the popcorn establishment wearing a bold, belted red dress and matching shoes -- all professional and stuff -- and she's got a bag of popcorn cradled between her bicep and her chest and she's eating directly from the bag.  Yes, directly.  She is walking, hunching into to the popcorn bag, and lapping up the popcorn kernels with her tongue.  By the way, her other hand was not laden with anything - no purse or sandwich  - nor did the hand appear to be incapacitated or diseased, so she could have easily reached into the bag with the free hand and inserted the popcorn hand-to-mouth.  It wasn't the animal-eating-from-the-feedbag that was quite so appalling to me (shit, we've all done this out of sheer laziness or convenience), but that she was dressed in a very professional, dignified way and still chose to eat like a cow/buffalo/pig/horse/dog/mammal of choice.  In public.

To illustrate (because pictures are more fun)
This:

Plus this:

Equals THIS:

You stay classy!!!